The Best Wedding Date!

I was invited to a black tie wedding a few months back. Can't go black tie without a plus one. I was a little stressed about who to take. Having broken up with my boyfriend and no date potentials in sight. After much thought and deliberation I decided to ask my dear friend Mark.


Mark and I have a few things in common we both lived in the United Kingdom, now we live in D.C. we both love all things gossip girl and have a crush on Chase Crawford.  Mark was excited to accompany me to the wedding. He even bought his first suite ever for the occasion (which he to returned the next day).

Mark was the absolute perfect date. He never let my glass go empty he asked the single ladies at the table to dance and made it clear to the single guys that we were NOT dating and that they absolutely should talk to me. He may have been the best wing man/wedding date EVER.

This was not just a win for me. Mark got to have a great night of dancing, schmoozing, and all the booze he could drink.

With wedding season fast approaching...something to think about when planning your next date.

Something New

As I was flipping through the channels last night I am came across this movie. This is a movie about a black women who is looking for her IBM (Ideal Black Man) and finds her self with a white guy.  Check out this clip.

The List- Something New

The movie states that 42.4% of black women never get married. As alarming as that statisic is Kenya the main character in the movie also points out that 57.6%  do get married.  So why focus on the negative. 

Welcome to the New Decade

With the beginning of the new year it might be fun to start with some vintage dating tips from 1938.

Tis the Season to be Engaged

"Even those of us who didn't expect to find a marriage partner in college went there believing that our undergraduate years would deliver not only a great love, but a great time..." Unhooked

I found out this morning that my high school boyfriend not only bought a house but also just got engaged. I am so happy for Greg. We have great memories but we were never meant to be. Its exciting that he found "the one".

Greg's engagement does make me reflect. I have had more friends then I can count get engaged this year. None of their engagements really made me think...hmm when is my turn. Like most girls I love the thought of getting married...one day but with Greg's engagement it really shows that my priorities clearly lie somewhere else. It all comes back to knowing what you want and when you want it.

According to my friend Amanda  "We're just getting older....but doesn't mean anything's wrong with us.  People do things at their own pace.  I like our pace."


In the mean time all you/I can do is work hard and have fun! Congrats to Greg and Jen and all my friends that got engaged this year.

Warm for the Holidays!

With the Holiday Season here. Its a time of holiday parties, hot chocolate and shopping. Tis the season to be single mingle. Who will you kiss under the mistletoe?

Pseudo Marriage

"...becoming serious about pairing up in their middle to late twenties and then start the rehearsals that will prepare them in their thirties for marriage."  Unhooked

My friend Paul enlightened me to the pseudo marriage. We were driving home to Delaware and he was telling me about the girl he started dating, and how she was really cool.  "She isn't down with the pseudo marriage." I had no idea what he was talking about.  Paul explained to me the new dating rules. When our parents were dating they had this concept of going steady.  We simply removed that step and went from hooking up to the pseudo marriage.  When someone finally decides to become official. They start to engaged in marriage like activities.  That range from family events, 5-7 night a week sleep overs, and the daily check in.  I thought about this...Paul may have something here.

One of my best friends Amanda spends about 70%  of her relationship of about four years attending his family functions. Every weekend its I have to go to Josh's step brothers girlfriends sisters baby shower or I have a wedding of Josh's step mom's niece.  I honestly don't know how she does it.  Family functions can be fun, occasionally but the non stop family outing can lead to insanity.

In my last relationship I found myself guilty of the check in call and the constant sleep over. I dont even know why we started doing it. It seemed that my exboyfriend and I couldnt do anything without the check in text or phone call. "Hey, just wanted to let you know I am home from the gym..."  I am pretty sure this made him crazy, and in turn it made me crazy. It became such a habit that when we didnt do it, I thought something was wrong.  The same for the sleep overs. 

Is it normal to live separately and spend almost every night sleeping (and I do mean sleep) together?   If that's the case why not move in?  Something I swore I never I wanted to do until I was married.

And so you have the pseduo marraige.

A Blast From the Past - Ex Boyfriends

"When she was tempted to do more than kiss, she remembered how much pain she suffered the first semester when she had lost him as a steady boyfriend." -Unhooked

Boyfriends are such a funny thing. Ex boyfriends are even funnier. About two months ago, my boyfriend and I broke up.  As I deal with break up woes...it happens. My college ex boyfriend reappears. I receive a text message from the college ex declaring all the things I wanted to hear from him when we were together.  In college even though I had the title of girlfriend, I couldn't mange to keep his interest for to long. Now, we are almost grown up and he is back. Why does that always happen?  Now, I am nursing yet another broken heart and I really don't have any desire to reopen wounds, with a blast from the past.  

However a thought did cross my mind.  If my college ex came back to me a few years later, would that mean my current ex could loop back to me as well? Are relationships a cycle, that even when broken we remain in?  If that's true,  that's just another reason why dating is such a complicated matter.

I was discussing this with my roommate.  And I said something I never thought I would say. "Maybe our parents got it right."   When my parents dated, they had this concept of "going steady". I feel like that is lost today. Today it appears we have two levels of relationships--casual hook ups or the pseudo marriage.  Both are intense, and don't leave room for dating. Maybe this is why ex's return to our lives.  We missed that opportunity to date, get to know each other, and than make next steps.

I haven't responded to the college ex's text.